A Recent Study
A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the pheromones (in the fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter), therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "Quilters." When played backwards on a LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me, and sew me!!
In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on human population. They are called Fabric Store Clerks!!
It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by the "significant other" if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."
Author KATHY SMITH EVERETT, WA
A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the pheromones (in the fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter), therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "Quilters." When played backwards on a LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me, and sew me!!
In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on human population. They are called Fabric Store Clerks!!
It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by the "significant other" if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."
Author KATHY SMITH EVERETT, WA
2 comments:
Hmmm. Looks like you forgot your ear plugs and mask when you went into the stores Lillian :-)
Fun! Wish I had an existing stash to hide some more in. Am looking forward to starting a new stash soon! I too am a victim of those pheronomes :)
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